


Another Star in the Skies

by AquaSea_s



Category: Kanjani8 (Band)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:53:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26874739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AquaSea_s/pseuds/AquaSea_s
Summary: Hello! I originally wrote this in early 2018, when Subaru's departure was still a rumour. Had an exchange of what-ifs with my (ex-)boyfriend along the lines of, "Okay, maybe Subaru's leaving, but what if another member beats him to it?" back then, and this is one of the things that came out of that. Haha!I'm still pretty embarrassed to put this out... If you got to read this fic while it was still a PDF file sitting in my GDrive, please say hi! ^^ And feel free to leave critiques, I would really like to improve on my writing. <(_ _)>
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Another Star in the Skies

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I originally wrote this in early 2018, when Subaru's departure was still a rumour. Had an exchange of what-ifs with my (ex-)boyfriend along the lines of, "Okay, maybe Subaru's leaving, but what if another member beats him to it?" back then, and this is one of the things that came out of that. Haha!
> 
> I'm still pretty embarrassed to put this out... If you got to read this fic while it was still a PDF file sitting in my GDrive, please say hi! ^^ And feel free to leave critiques, I would really like to improve on my writing. <(_ _)>

“I’ve probably asked this a million times now, but is there really no way for Shibuyan to change his mind anymore?”

Yasu shifts his gaze from the skies to Subaru, who was then standing precariously on top of the monkey bars – trying to see the possibility of walking up to the middle and sitting there safely. A few steps forward and Subaru responds with a confused, “Why are you referring to me in third person??” Without missing a beat, Yasu replies, “HAHAHAHA, you’re reacting to THAT?” with a bit too much laughter with it. All Subaru said back was, “You’re really such an odd one, aren’t you...” The still-smiling Yasu refocuses his dreamy eyes back up to the skies where the moon is, partially enshrouded by clumps of clouds.

They stay quiet for a while. Yasu breaks that silence by asking, “Say, Shibuyan, what are you planning to do from now on?” To which Subaru replies, “Well, we still have a few shows to do this month, right? There’s that. Afterwards…” A short silence. “I don’t know, maybe I’ll go back and stay with my mom for a while until I figure it out.” Yasu laughs and jests, “Ah, where would Shibuyan be without his mom?” at which Subaru just laughs.

The mini-horse Yasu is sitting on sways for a little bit more before Subaru proposes they head back to Yasu’s house to get some drinking underway. When they arrive, Yasu brings out the food, beer for Subaru, and some tea for himself. Subaru notes it with a mocking grin, “You’re not drinking alcohol? That’s new!” Yasu just makes a face at him.

Old stories flowed as the night continued to deepen. Subaru fell deeper into inebriation, whereas Yasu barely made it through two cups of tea. At some point, Yasu asked Subaru, “What if I told you I might be leaving soon, too?” Whether Subaru heard it properly or not is hard to tell, he just laughed at Yasu and exclaimed, “That’s just the alcohol talking!! You’ll get over it in the morning!” He goes into a laughing fit before saying, “I really need to go before I pass out on your floor!!!” He immediately stands up, Yasu hauls him to the street and gets him into a taxi. As soon as the taxi’s out of view, Yasu rushes back into his house to drink some water to settle his stomach, subsequently throwing everything up. He doesn’t bother getting to his room, he just lays himself on the kitchen floor.

That is exactly where his manager finds him in the morning – kitchen floor, doubled over on his side. He wakes up at the tap of his manager, who rushed over because Yasu was not responding to any calls or messages. “How are you feeling? Should I call up a doctor today? We’ll take care of rescheduling today’s work, no need to worry over it,” the manager asks with a visible worry. Yasu mumbles weakly, his voice hoarse, “It’s fine, I feel rested somehow. I can work today, just give me a few minutes to get ready,” as he holds out his hand for his manager to help him up. “Are you sure? We will be filming episodes of variety show today; it might get difficult. Also, were you drinking all these?” his manager asks, getting angry upon seeing cans and cans of beer on the table. “No, Shibuyan was here last night. Trust me, I can do it today,” was all Yasu told his manager.

It is the first time they’re taping as six-membered Kanjani8, and the atmosphere was tense. It was as if nobody knew where to place themselves; attempts at humor seemed to fall flat. They were given some time to regroup before taping continues. Maru tried to cheer everyone up with his gags. Ohkura gives a passionate talk about not letting themselves lose – against Subaru, against the pressure, against themselves. They try to come up with plans on how to bring out a good flow. Thankfully, those tactics worked, and they started to loosen up as the taping went on.

As soon as the cameras stopped rolling for the day, everyone went off to catering—it had been a long shoot, after all. On the way out, Maru noticed that Yasu seemed to be struggling over something, although he cannot see what. "Are you okay?" Maru asked as soon as he got to Yasu. Yasu looked up and smiled, "I'm okay! But, Maru-chan, I'm so tired and I can't really feel my legs. Can you help me get back to the dressing room? Let's be subtle about it, I don't want anyone to notice and worry."

Maru pauses for a bit, thinking hard, before crouching down and motioning Yasu to climb on his back. "Are you sure it's okay to carry me? I might be too heavy," Yasu asks apprehensively. Maru just gives him a thumbs-up and a smile, "Heh, they'll think we're just playing around!" Yasu leans himself to Maru, and Maru lifts him up in a piggyback ride. "Sho-chan, you feel so cold, are you okay?" Yasu gives a huge grin and enthusiastically exclaims, "Un!"

While they were going to the dressing room, Maru started talking, "Say, Sho-chan, remember that time you carried me on your shoulders? To pick some fruits? I didn't know you were that strong. I'm so heavy and you're so small!" Yasu groans in protest and then chuckles, "Well, Maru-chan, if you would stop wanting to eat so much, maybe I wouldn't have had to do that!” After a short pause, Yasu continues, “It was a good memory, though. That was a nice place." "Maybe we can plan another trip there, when everyone's free. Maybe Subaru will come, too," Maru suggested. Yasu smiled, and said, "Hmm, it would be nice if he comes, but let's also just let him live his life, 'kay?" And after a moment's pause, he says, "Thank you so much for everything, Maru-chan~"

"Oi, oi, oi! What are you getting sentimental about right now! Let's reserve that to when we drink out, eh? Okay, I'm putting you down on the sofa, okay? I'll go check out the catering. You want anything? I'll just bring it back here," Maru says as he sets Yasu down. Yasu grabs Maru's hand, smiles oh-so-sweetly, and replies, "It's alright, you don't need to bring me food~ Thank you so much, Maru-chan. Enjoy with the others, okay?" "O-o-ou," Maru replies with a nod and awkwardly puckered lips, which makes Yasu laugh a lot. As Maru heads out of the room, he tells Yasu, "Join us in eating once you feel settled, alright?" Yasu just replies with a lively, "Uuuun~!"

Yasu’s eyes follow Maru to the door. The moment it closes, Yasu’s eyes tear up. His gaze is broken by a tremor, but as soon as it passes, he puts on the biggest grin he can, then lies down on the sofa.

The energy in the catering room is so lively, it’s almost explosive. When Maru arrives, the rest were already seated with food in front of them, presently occupied with making fun of Yoko’s blunders for that day’s taping. Ryo turns to Maru and asks, “Where’s Sho-chan?” Maru tells him, “Ah, he’s just resting for a bit in the room, he should be coming in a few minutes, probably.” Maru gets himself some food and joins in on the others.

Ohkura comes up with an idea. “Hey, hey, it’s our first time without Subaru, right? He should be free right now, let’s call him up!” The others had reservations, but Ohkura just swatted their worries away with an, “It’s fine, it’s fine~” Subaru answers in a few rings, and they set it up so there’s video on both ends.

The first thing Subaru notices is that Yasu isn’t there. “Huh? Where’s Shota-san?” he asks, which makes everyone break out in laughter. Hina playfully chides him in between laughs, “It’s ‘Hello everyone,’ dumbass! What are you asking about Yasu first for?” Ryo cuts in with, “He’s in the dressing room, crying about you not being here~” while laughing his head off. Subaru asks, “Eh? For real?” with a worried look on his face. It makes everyone laugh even more. Ohkura tells Subaru in between laughs, “Heh, we’re kidding~ He’s probably just catching up on his game!” Subaru’s face registers a relief. Yoko adds teasingly, “Why, do you miss him already? Weren’t the two of you together just last night? What did the two of you do, huuuh~” Subaru makes a blank face and a confused chuckle, and says, “Eh? Uhhh, um, we just drank.” Yoko makes a smug face that seems to say, _“If you say so~”_.

Subaru proceeds to ask them about that day’s taping, which they take as an opportunity to fill Subaru in on Maru’s jokes that will probably not make it on air, as well as Hina’s rare MC mistakes. They keep talking, as if Subaru was just there with them, instead of being in a small screen.

It goes on, until Hina announces that he needs to leave. As soon as Hina stands up, Subaru says, “Hey, the six of you, enjoy this from now on too, okay?” Ryo quips, “You—dumbass, it’s not like we won’t see you again. We’re still doing a few shows, remember? Save that moping for later.” Hina begged off that he abosulutely needed to leave, and so the rest decided to call it a night, too.

Ryo, Ohkura, and Maru were already in the car when Ryo mentions, "Has Sho-chan left earlier? I don't think I heard him head out. Is it okay to leave him in there?" Ohkura adds, "Oi, Maru-chan, you share a dressing room with him. Was he still there when you left?" Maru replies, "Yes, but he was still sleeping, so I just rushed on out. I didn't want to bother him." Ryo looks at his watch and says, "He must've been so tired. It's quite late, though. I don't know why, but I feel like going back to check on him. Let’s have him ride with us?" The other two didn't mind, and they ask the manager to turn the car back.

As soon as they got back, they went to Maru and Yasu's dressing room and turned on the lights, just to see Yasu still sleeping on the sofa. Ryo puts on his creep smile, wiggles his fingers, and tells the others to shush—he’ll wake up Sho-chan with a shock. So, the other two held back, snickering as they watch.

Little did Ryo know, though, that he's the one getting a shock once he reaches Yasu. He shouts for Maru and Ohkura to come, and they see Yasu sleeping serenely, with blood a bit smeared around his mouth, and dripping off the side. Ohkura immediately lifts up Yasu's head and rubs on whatever he can rub to get Yasu to wake up, while Maru calls for medics. Ryo took to assailing objects in the room in frenzy, knowing Yasu can't be that hard to wake up. If Ohkura's rubbing is soothing Yasu further into sleep, he'll be the one in charge of annoying noises to snap his Sho-chan out of it. But nothing seems to work. Ryo takes Yasu's hand to elicit a response, but he only takes in a cold, hard, unresponsive hand.

Maru comes back in with the medics and he finds Ohkura cradling Yasu's head and gently caressing it, while staring blankly into space. Maru spots Ryo in front of them, kneeling down and pulling his hair out, not even a sound coming out of him. In that moment, everything clicks within Maru, and it was all he could do to keep watching over his bandmates, his friends, as the medics moved about around them.

The medics were long gone with Yasu in tow. Ohkura is just staring blankly at the wall in front of him, considering the idea that all of this was nothing but a bad dream; he should be waking up soon in the car, with that weird weight on his chest again. Ryo is still staring at Ohkura’s hand, whose thumb has taken to making circles on the other blood-streaked forearm. He is thinking about how maybe if he stares long enough, he’ll be able to conjure back a sleeping Sho-chan, one he can tickle into waking. Maru just kept looking at the two of them, unsure what to do, unsure what to feel, unsure what to think. All that was running in his head was that he should have trusted his gut and called Yasu’s bluff about feeling alright, how could he have been so stupid? Of course, Yasu just didn’t want anyone else to worry, him included. A manager hovers outside the door but won’t dare step in, and none of the three even notice the presence.

This standstill is broken by Yoko rushing into the room, throwing a blanket around Maru’s shoulders and almost half-carrying him to where Ryo and Ohkura were, sitting him on a chair. Yoko goes to Ryo, and as soon as his knees touch the ground, Ryo rushes over to his shoulder and lets out the suppressed screams and tears.

In what seemed like only a few moments after, they all turn to look at the door, surprised by Hina suddenly coming in. As Hina was taking a seat beside Ohkura, a phone rings off. They check their phones, only to realize that the ringing is coming from a phone on the table – Yasu’s phone. Hina tentatively answers, already composing a spiel in his head.

“Hello? I’m so sorry, this is—”

“Hello? Is this Murakami-san?” the voice on the other end asks. “Ah, yes, yes,” Hina replies, with a slight confusion. The caller continues, “My apologies, I didn’t know whom to call, so I just decided to call Mr. Yasuda’s phone. This is his manager, please don’t worry.” Upon hearing that, Hina eases up a little, and proceeds to ask, “Um, about Yasu, are you there with him? What’s the update?” It takes a couple of deep breaths before the manager says, “My apologies, this is much better revealed in person, but Yasuda-san didn’t make it alive to the hospital. My apologies for having to relay the news in a phone call. The other managers are there and will be available for you. Again, I’m really sorry for having to communicate it like this.” Hina sucks in a deep breath before he replies, “No worries about it. Thank you so much for your hard work.”

Everyone had their eyes fixed on Hina. Yoko was the first to speak up, “Who was it? How is Yasu?” All Hina could manage was to slump into the sofa and shake his head weakly, even his quick wit cannot keep up with such a happening. He replaces Yasu’s phone on the table, and that’s when he notices a piece of paper with _“please read_ _–Shota”_ scribbled on it.

Hina calls the manager again, relaying things written on the paper. The manager helps him locate a video, apparently taken almost two months back. He thanks the manager, hangs up, and tells the other members to huddle in and watch.

_“Is it recording?” “Yes.” “Okay, then.” Yasu fixes his hair under his beanie. He holds a few flowers in his hands, and tries to put them on his hat, then checks it out on the screen. He takes two flowers off and puts them on his ear. “Better.” He stares at the camera some more before he seems to remember something. “Ah, look, I finally got a tattoo! It’s temporary, so don’t tell the agency, okay! Haha!” He pulls his shirt collar to the side to show off his moon tattoo, then gives his usual sweet smile to the camera._

_“Hello, it’s Shota! Thank you for looking at this video!” He looks around, then continues talking, taking the camera to film himself around the room. “Right now, I’m at the studio, we’re looking at some demo tapes, and we will probably record new ones later. This is still a secret, but some seniors will come over to play!” “Yasuda-san—” Yasu laughs, then frantically puts a finger to his mouth and says, “Shhh! If they ask, say manager-san spoiled the news! Hahahaha!”_

“What is this kid doing?” Hina remarks.

_He proceeds to sit himself back down and set the camera back down too; he then fixes his hair and repositions the flowers again. He brings up a page of his sketchbook to the screen, showing off a drawing of a star with a guitar, holding hands with a tall, lanky kid with a microphone on one side, and a short, bearded kid with a harmonica on the other. He flips the pages of the sketchbook to show the three characters skipping off along a road, with flowers and sparkles surrounding them._

_He smiles at the camera before he starts talking again. “I’m really sorry for not letting anyone know about this, alright? All the secret recordings… all the artists we’ve asked to collaborate with…” Yasu looks at someone beyond the camera and nods. “The reasons why we had to reschedule so many tapings recently... The things that have been hampering my body condition… I just didn’t want any of you to worry unnecessarily. Well, I'm feeling great now, it’s alright. It will be almost as if nothing happened."_

Ryo growls, "Well something DID happen, you asshole."

_"Whatever happens, it will be okay. No need to worry about what you'll tell my family! They’ve already known for a while, but I hope you can still say hi and lend them a hand if things turn for the worst – you know my parents love each and every one of you, too. The group’s managers are aware of what has been happening, even before all talk about Shibuyan wanting to leave Eito came up. The agency knows too, and we have tried our best to prepare if the time comes when there’s no choice for me but to leave."_

_He looks up at the ceiling for a few moments, and another smile starts to form. "For letting things end up like this… I'm really sorry, okay?" His smile grows bigger, although tears start spilling from his eyes. "Someday in the future, we'll look back at this time and laugh at how dumb this whole thing played out, hahaha!"_

But no one in the room laughed along with him.

_He lets his tears flow out for a few more moments, then slaps hand on his forehead. "Hah, what am I saying! When you see this video, there's probably no more next time for us to meet!” He visibly struggles against it, but his cry just intensifies. “I'm really sorry for not letting you know about my condition… It was really amazing to have known all of you for the most part of my life, I wouldn't have traded that experience for anything else in the world.” He spends time staring at the ceiling, trying to come up with what to say next._

_“Should I give everyone a message? Huh... Eh… If anything, live on being true to yourselves! Alright?" He makes a fighting pose with the sweetest smile he could muster. "But ahhh….. you may have to lie about what happened to me... but aside from that, live honestly, okay? Okay." He throws some kisses to the camera. He picks one of the flowers on his hat and shows it off to the camera with a child-like wonder on his face. His manager asks, "Is that all?"_

_He looks at his manager, shakes his head, and says, "Ah, nnn-hnn! Take the camera, and please follow along, okay?" He stands up and goes to a more spacious spot, where he proceeds to kneel and bow down to the ground. "My sincerest apologies for having all of you go through all this! Please don't get angry at the managers for keeping everything from you!” His voice hitches from crying, but he keeps on. “This set-up is all because of my selfish request! Continuing to work like usual was my decision! We've laid out some possible courses of action from this, we hope you can look them over! Please look at the beautiful sky tonight! Please, live on! That is all!" He gives another nod, and the video stops._

Hina sets down the phone, still unable to make sense of what he just watched, nor of anything that was happening at present. He and Yoko look at each other, as if trying to have a mental conversation with each other, but for once, he can’t tell at all what Yoko must be thinking. Ryo resumes trashing things around the room in hysteria. Maru just shifts his eyes from person to person, unable to form solid thoughts, unable to stop the tears flowing from his eyes. “I-I-I'm so sorry," Yoko tells everyone and abruptly rushes out of the room. All Ohkura could muster was, "Somebody, please, wake me up from this nightmare already."

Subaru was sitting around in his balcony, looking up at the moon. He muses about how he used to not give a second thought about the night sky at all, he just liked daytime so much better. That night, the sky seemed clearer and brighter and just generally enticing.

He decides to send a message to Yasu, he’s sure Yasu will like the sky that night, if not already gazing at it—that kid doesn’t sleep, does he. Subaru sees that he has gotten two messages. One is from his manager, informing him about a meeting with the agency officials in the morning for Kanjani8. He’s not required to attend, but he is welcome to join; and he will be picked up at 8:30 if he decides to come. He’s surprised to find that the other message is from Ohkura, given that they were all just in a call a few hours ago. But the contents of Ohkura’s message shocks him more. “Please, come to the meeting tomorrow. Instead of the previous plan, after the two shows this week, Kanjani8 will announce member departures and take a hiatus from group activities.” His first instinct was to call Yasu and ask, and probably offer a listening ear. But, uncharacteristically, Yasu won’t pick up his calls at all.


End file.
